I'm going to fly on 29th this month (less than two weeks from now), 11.50 p.m. to Vancouver, Canada. Days are passing me by, and every day I'm playing Diablo 2 and not driving and seldom meeting friends and feeling like a total loser. I'm so bored. I sleep late at nights, stretching to about 3 a.m. some days. I can't understand myself at times.

Despite the shortness of time, I haven't really confirm my flight date. You may ask: what about the time you wrote up there? That's right, I'm not sure. It's just a rough estimation judging from what the JPA personnel told us (that all of us are flying at the same time). The thing is that they didn't manage to get my ticket by the time the pre-departure briefing (on this monday, 14th) ended; the sole consolation being that our flight is most probably not passing through London, but through Frankfurt in Germany. But on the flip side of the coin, I get this late flight time and no putting up a night at London, only a brief 5-hour transit at Frankfurt.

Frankly speaking, I'm tired of the nonchalant attitude of JPA. They claim to read your emails but they don't reply because they are too "busy" to answer emails about trivial things. Heck, how long does it take to answer my emails asking the departure date, the briefing date, financial claims? Judge for yourselves, is these trivial? And good luck triyng to phone them. Chances are there is nobody to answer the phone. Again, they claim to be so "busy" that they are not in the office some times. However I won't say that it's impossible to contact them, it's just that I have yet to try calling them like once every 15 minutes.

The MAS people wasn't available on the day of JPA pre-departure briefing. So we're basically have no insights on issues like whether extra baggage weight is allowed for students, what to bring/not to bring, baggage size, and yes, the departure date (for me and some guys). And JPA, ever so helpful, provided us the reputed-to-be-high-and-mighty MAS officer's cell phone number, so that we can find out for ourselves.

Another thing that was bothering me was JPA's speed of approving claims. The official statements of 45-day-processing-time and several cases of problems concerning late payments do not offer much assurance. For example, meal plan is compulsory for my residence in UBC. The JPA officer previously told us that JPA wasn't going to pay for it but recently (during the briefing) she told us we can claim the fee from JPA. I have to pay the first installment (CAD$1000 plus, which converts to more than RM3400) by myself lest I want to wait for more than 45 days for JPA to pay the amount (which means I don't get to eat for at least a month: not bad, I can lose some weight, eh?). I have claimed most of the payments (including university application fees, visa application fee, etc.) from JPA but I'm expecting a long wait before my bank accounts are refilled. I am really thankful that my parents are financially able to support me partially while I pay first and claim later.

Does JPA care about us? Maybe a little. Personally I liked the officers because they are friendly and they look kind and helpful. But I don't like the efficiency of the delivery system. A lecturer of mine accurately pointed out that there's something wrong about how information is passed and circulated in Malaysia, particularly in the government sector: it's too damn slow. Putting the problem with departure date and flight tickets aside, JPA's been sluggish in other things. It takes a lot of effort and perseverence and patience to get any information from JPA. Things used to be better last time when they still replied my email, and the last reply I got was from 3 months ago, despite my constantly mailing them. Take the pre-departure briefing for example, we only get to know about it like 2 weeks before through a phone-call from JPA, that is, without any black-and-white.

Sometimes my mind is divided. Here I am, only a 10A1 and 1A2 SPM scorer, inactive in extra-curricular activities, not very outstanding among the brilliant ones who can score up to 17 straight As (who use Steadler pencils for optimum performance in exams) and representing states in competitions, yet I was blessed with this scholarship, when some students with more As and better extra-curricular participation have failed to obtain it. Without this scholarship, chances are I won't get the opportunity to study overseas. Why should I complain this and that? Am I so ungrateful to those who are willing to spend hundreds of thousands on my tertiary education? Yet sometimes the JPA's "efficiency" in handling things get on my nerves. I'm not trying to condemn JPA or teach them how to do things, but I think at least I deserve to be more well-informed than this, not to mention faster response to my inquiries.

Enough about JPA. I'm about to leave now, but there are still a lot of loose ends to tie. I felt like being shot 3 times when a computer technician told me that the cpu fan, the graphic card, and the motherboard in my old computer was busted. I certainly didn't expect that - 3 parts malfunctioning at the same time. At least RM300 is needed to replace the motherboard. RM300! I originally intended to fix this computer so that I can sell it 2nd-hand, but now this! I'm torn between fixing or not fixing but most probably I'll fork out the money since turning back now would cost me more. Crap, now the margin of profit will be much smaller, and probably end up in deficit. The estimated cost (including some replacement I did) will be about RM620 and the maximum selling price would be about RM1000, which is too high to be practical. Anyway, this is going to cost some serious thinking and headaches.

I still haven't planned what to pack and how to pack. I don't even know the specifications of the baggage. I still haven't bought my laptop. I still haven't bought a backpack. I still haven't bought my coat that JPA requires me to wear when I board my economy class flight. I still don't know how to mend clothes. I still...

I need some rest. (To my brain) Give me a break, will ya?